The Only Good Vote is a Republican Vote

All right let's sum up. This year in history, we talked about the failure of democracy. How our social scientists and politicians of the 21st Century brought our world to the brink of chaos.-Starship Troopers

President George W. Bush did an amazing job campaigning this year. He pulled the Christian zealots across the country out of the woodwork and into the voting booths. His $270-million campaign—nearlythree times what he spent in 2000—managed herculean feats never before seen. His steadfastness and courage in Iraq inspired over 4000 voters in Franklin County Ohio to punch the Bush hole, despite the county only having 638 registered voters. His conviction to moral values literally took votes away from John Kerry in addition to giving Bush votes. Florida was an electoral miracle for GeeDub, as he convinced the majority of registered Democrats to vote for him—but only in counties with certain types of poll booths. Amazing! Bush even caused so much confusion to usual Democratic voters that Hispanic voters in Nevada simply can't make up their minds when it comes to an election they drove across the desert to reach. I guess they just wanted the sticker.

An election official in Franklin County mentioned that the computer error that gave Bush the boost would have been detected during the verification process that will take place in the coming weeks. Weeks??? So what's happening? Where are the 10,000 lawyers? Gone. Kerry gave up near noon on Wednesday before all of the votes he promised to watch counted were.

The optimist would suggest that Kerry still has a chance, even though he's given up. The official counts will come in. Perhaps the exit polls weren't really completely off for the first time in history. Even if this is Votergate. Right?

Sorry. The American public is done with the election, and would never entertain more debate about it, regardless of how overt the corruption. The TV and paper news have sealed their lips. Even if Kerry had insisted upon re-counts, the Supreme Court now has precedence to deny him.

A decisive victory was key for Bush, as a second narrow election would have cost him precious legitimacy. Now he has, in his own words a mandate from the people—frightening considering the vast changes he made to the American government when he lost the popular vote. What's next? Who knows, but is it surprising that we're suddenly sending a massive attack against Fallujah so soon after the election? We needed something to take up the headlines.

I know, I know. Last week I promised a review of Madame Hilary—it's the negative biography that convinced meHRC should be president in 2008. But we have more pressing matters on our hands. I'm afraid America; the aughts will be a sad decade in American history.

Update
My own state's Representative, John Conyers and six other Congresspeople have requested an investigation into possible problems in voting systems. Of course, then again, perhaps by criticizing the online method of public outcry against the election result is a better—easier method of ending the accusations instead of debunking them.