How not to fly
Published 9 August 2006
Hi! You've stumbled upon a blog post by a guy named Ryan. I'm not that guy anymore, but I've left his posts around because cool URIs don't change and to remind me how much I've learned and grown over time.
Ryan was a well-meaning but naïve and priviledged person. His views don't necessarily represent the views of anyone.
I am thoroughly enjoying WWDC in San Francisco. I am one of the lucky few who get a sneak preview of the next Apple
OS, and get to hob-knob with all kinds of developers on the University’s dime. This adventure was almost not to be, as the following mishap almost grounded me in Detroit.Security Guard: “I have to check your bag.”
Ryan: “Um...ok...”
[Security Guard begins to rummage through Ryan’s bag, withdrawing his MacBook Pro, power cable, digital camera, cell phone charger, a novel, journal, stamps …]
Ryan (second mistake): “Ooo… I should not have brought that”
Security Guard: “What?”
[Security Guard fingers his sidearm and rummages through the bag, pulling out the U-lock Ryan left in his laptop case (first mistake)]
Security Guard: “What’s this?”
Ryan: “A bike lock. I ride my bike to work (true). I forgot it was in there (also true).”
Security Guard: “I have to run this through security.”
[Security Guard walks back toward the metal detectors and shows the U-lock to other guards. Ryan puts on his shoes. Security Guard returns, looking dour.]
Security Guard: “I can’t let this past checkpoint.”
Ryan: “Why?”
Security Guard: “It could be used to bludgeon somebody.”
Ryan: “In theory…”
Ryan: “In theory…”
[Security Guard looks interestedly at Ryan and waits for the end of that sentence, with a somebody’s-about-to-get-cavity-searched glare]
Running through my mind was, of course, “in theory I could bludgeon somebody with this paperback novel, or—hell—this six pound aluminum laptop”. Luckily for me—and my cavities—I realized the futility in this reasoning, and went back to check my carry-on.